By Melisa Luymes

Three days earlier, we were 21 strangers in a classroom at the University of Waterloo, attending a course on Peacemaking Circles. This morning we were in a human knot, a cluster of clasped hands, stepping over and ducking under each other, working together to untangle ourselves into a circle. (Remember the good ole days of social distancing?!)
After 20 uncomfortable minutes we untangled, and then went back to our seats to debrief. This was an exercise to understand the process of consensus and as we reflected on it. Consensus is the general agreement of a group, and I see how it flies in the face of our “majority-rules” process. Good consensus, like the human knot, requires us to flex new muscles: sharing from multiple perspectives, speaking up, switching leadership roles, flexibility (quite literally, in that case), and the ability to stay connected despite the discomfort. 
The Circle course was several weeks ago for me now, but I’m still reflecting on it. Most people will be familiar with the process, it is the “talking stick” approach. All parties sit in a circle, pass a talking piece around and only the person holding it can speak, with no interruptions or reactions from the group, for as long as that person wants to talk. Or they can choose to pass without speaking. As humans, we’ve always sat around campfires telling our stories and, historically, many cultures may have governed themselves that way. Gratefully, the process has been kept alive by Indigenous peoples despite settler attempts to destroy it. 
Circles are such a natural shape. And it sounds easy, but we spent hours in practice and, for a loudmouth like me, it was brutal. I wrestled in my silence, unable to interject with a joke or help anyone get to their point any quicker. But it got easier as the days went on – something shifted in me, and in the group. 
Circle is powerful, precisely because of the way it addresses power.  Power is essentially influence over others and that could mean one’s position, personality, physical strength, access to resources, or other means. Power is often invisible to those who have it, but they will feel deeply uncomfortable when it is taken away or threatened. The discomfort is something to notice and be curious about, instead of using it as an excuse to walk away or blow the whole thing up. (Speaking from experience…)
The process of Circle equalizes the voice of everyone in the group. Of course, there are still power dynamics from the “outside” that can influence what is said or not said inside the Circle, and it may take several Circle meetings for real power shifts to happen or for some people to feel safe enough to speak honestly.  
The first thing you probably thought is, yeah… but man that is a lot of talking. It would just be quicker for someone to decide, and the group could move on to getting things done. 
And to that I would say… OK, but that is how we are currently doing things and look how that is going, huh? Consider the amount of time and resources that are wasted when people sabotage (consciously or unconsciously) the solutions that come from on high. The Peacemaking Circle trainers, Kay Pranis and Jennifer Ball, have seen that the extra time spent on gaining consensus in Circle pays off later, when everyone works together to implement their solution. 
Consensus is NOT agreeing to disagree, and it isn’t compromise. It requires groups to share power, to explore nuance, respect the dignity of all parties and to fully understand all other positions in the room. Solutions are co-created to meet everyone’s needs, so it requires creativity and the ability to hold another person’s needs as equal to our own. The longer a person digs their heels in, the longer the circle will take for them – and for everyone else.
And that is another hesitation people might have with consensus is that one person can essentially hold the rest of the group hostage. Kay Pranis said that this is why a Circle works better for consensus building; the talking piece creates thoughtful time and space between responses, especially when tensions are high. Through all her years of facilitating Circles, Kay has seen that if all people in the Circle are truly empowered, groups simply cannot be dominated by one person.
And, from experiencing being in Circle even for a few days, I understand that the process allowed our group to become more than the sum of our parts. There is something especially powerful in the undivided attention and listening of a group. I didn’t plan what to say, and when the talking piece came to me, I was more surprised than anyone at the wise words that came out of my mouth. 
It was such a beautiful experience to be in Circle.  To think that we were able to create that kind of sharing community with a handful of strangers over just a few days is really amazing. What could our families and communities look like if we practiced Circle? What sort of a wonderful world could we create with each other? I’m still holding out hope! ◊