“Whew, it’s nice to be able to breathe again,” said Molly Whiteside fanning herself with the menus before she set them in front of the guys at Mabel’s Grill the other morning. “Back in the kitchen it’s really hot!”
“I thought this place was air- conditioned,” commented Dave Winston, studying the menu.
“It is but with the temperature so hot outside, it can’t keep up, what with the stove heating things up to cook food.”
“Oh oh,” groaned George Mackenzie, “next she’ll be wanting us to have salad for breakfast to keep the heat down.”
“Or cold cereal,” said Dave.
“I was seeing on TV the other day that we set heat records for every month from last July to this June,” Cliff Murray said as he studied the menu.
“Here we go again!” George said disgustedly as he smashed his hand on the table. “Another diatribe on global warming!”
“Just stating the black and white facts,” mumbled Cliff.
“You people are always going on about global warming as if it was real,” exploded George. “Some year has to be the highest temperature you know, even if there is no global warming – which there isn’t.”
“Just quoting world-famous scientists,” sighed Cliff. In an attempt to change the conversation he told Molly, “I’ll have bacon and eggs.”
The others also ordered and Molly headed for the kitchen, taking a moment for a couple of deep breaths before she re-entered the heat.
“On the way into town I scared up three turkey buzzards feeding on a dead groundhog on the side of the road,” Dave said.
“Gee, I’m glad you saved that news until after we ordered our meals,” Cliff.
“My wife was driving to work the other morning and listening to CBC – I thought I’d got rid of that socialist station on her speed dial – and this woman was complaining she lives in a high-rise and all she sees are pigeons, Canada geese and seagulls,” said George. “Good thing she doesn’t see buzzards in the city.”
“That’d be tough, missing all the pretty birds,” said Cliff. “I love watching the hummingbirds and Baltimore orioles at the liquid feeders, the goldfinches, indigo buntings and cardinals at the dry feeders and the bluejays and other birds at the birdbath.”
“Sounds like a sheep farmer – too much time on his hands once the sheep are on pasture,” said Dave. “Now if you had a barn full of pigs and a few hundred acres of crops, you wouldn’t have time to watch birds.”
“Which is why I like sheep,” Cliff said quietly.
“Okay, here are your meals,” announced Molly, setting the plates in front of the guys and standing back to fan herself.
“Is it supposed to be this hot on the weekend?” she wondered. “I’m supposed to go to a wedding on Saturday and I’m not looking forward to it if it’s this hot.”
“Oh oh, here we go again on weather,” sighed George before he sliced into his pancakes.
“Well, I mean when it’s this hot we might as well be in India or someplace,” Molly said.
“I was just hearing about this rich couple’s wedding in India where the people had so much money they paid Justin Bieber $10 million to entertain,” said Cliff, seeking to change the conversation.
“I heard that!” said Dave.
“Glad I’m just a farmer and would never have been invited to a wedding like that,” sighed George.
“I wonder how big the wedding presents were when the wedding was as expensive as that?” Cliff wondered.
“I wonder how much the staff got tipped at a wedding like that,” Molly said, practically drooling.
“Since it was in India they were probably happy just to eat the leftovers,” George grumbled. ◊